P.S. I can't hear my feet
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
