I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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