I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
