he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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