Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
only you would photoshop your dick
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
