This is not my ceiling
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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