maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
