I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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