oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
