just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
