hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
