Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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