it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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