You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
