Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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