I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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