i just made my gag reflex go away.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
