Life is so much better after having sex.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
