I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
