Ambien. No doubt about it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
