Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
