I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
