Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
