I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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