There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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