Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
