so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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