I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
