He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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