My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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