what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
