remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
