I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
