Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
