this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
