I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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