I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
