Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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