This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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