similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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