Having a random hookup so left but love u
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Floor bacon is actually really good
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
