Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
