haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
