Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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