and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
