I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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