i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
