My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
