I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
