Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
