That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
